Small talk will be just fine

oops

2010-09-16T16:58:00.001-07:00

Forgot this thing existed until i went and read Kyles blog. Maybe i'll start doing this again :/

On the road again

2010-06-30T22:05:00.000-07:00

Heading to Arizona to chill with family and friends, 863miles o.o you obviously can tell I am bored, Chris is driving and I have NOTHING to do and I ate all mah cookies! :(

puzzler

2010-06-24T02:47:00.000-07:00

Need to find stress relief now, ugh.

So about that one thing

2010-06-09T03:47:00.000-07:00

I shouldn't be blogging, hell i shouldn't even be awake. I don't even know if i am capable of using proper grammar at the moment. Figured since i have a SHIT TON of crap on my mind and the only way for me to not stay up until the sun rises while i think of pointless ways i can deal with my fucked up problems/emotions etc.. is for me to blog, just a little bit.

So many things have changed in the past few months.. more than i could explain in text, i could probably talk for hours upon hours about what happened just in this last month. Not in an excited manner but life does have its up and downs.
So in about 3-4 months i will no longer be living in this awesome hell hole we call Klamath Falls, no hard feelings this town has done many wonders for me i have found Love, friends, family.. that i would never want to forget (some of them i would).
I will taking the 5 hour drive up north to the big city of Portland, Oregon. Oh joy.
Sure i am pretty excited to go, a new exciting place, not Klamath.. Let me repeat that NOT KLAMATH FUCKING FALLS! I will be leaving a few important things.. my Dan.. even though it is not easy and i am getting all teary eyed thinking about it right at this moment (time to hold back the tears and be a big girl) I am going to try my hardest to succeed and get my degree at PSU and do what i want with my life.
Me and Dan will still be together, sorry i dont want sympathy i know its hard to have a long distant relationship.. very hard. But i will be in the same state not too far from home sweet home (twitches) and hell! maybe i just need to get this big city obsession out of me and i will come crawling/begging back to Klamtucky that i have grown to love so much.

This will be my first time living on my own (Very possible roommate needed) but nonetheless i will have a job and be supporting myself, right now would be a good time to find a sugar daddy or a real rich family member thats wants to hand over a very large sum of cash to pay for my boarding and tuition. But i think i am way excited for the fact i will have my own place, not that i don't have my own place now.. owning a house in all.. oops, but i mean a place decorated to my tastes and not looking all bachelor-like. What i would really like is a studio apartment, yea one of those little tiny things where a little wall separates the living room and kitchen from the bedroom, no doors. oh yea! one more thing.. and in the heart of Portland RIGHT SMACK DAB in the middle, i am not easily bothered by traffic noise.. actually the only noise i want to stay away from is gun shots and small children (possibly adults) screaming.
I think me and Dan are better than that to just end a almost 4 year long relationship over a distance issue. Especially over something that i need to do. I NEED to try college. I NEED to get out of town. Even if its just for a term.. just so i know i tried.. and if he held me back and i never tried i don't want to look back and be like.. "What if.." I don't want to resent my soon-to-be husband because he wouldn't let me leave Klamath to go to college. I have nothing to hold me back.. no children.. no job.. Just Dan.. and i think he would understand more than anyone that i need to do this.
I know its not going to be easy, there will be a few fights (few hundred) but we make up quickly and move on quicker.
Just as long as he knows i love him more than anything in on the entire planet (even though he will guilt trip me all to hell!) we will stay strong.

right now

2010-03-31T01:05:00.001-07:00

I really wish i knew who hit my sisters.
I really wish i knew who took a picture of my sister in the hospital and sent it around to people.
So i could fucking beat the shit out of them.

And i am really disappointed in a few people who helped send that picture around, seriously fuck you.

What if you were in the hospital, laying there helpless all bloody.. do you want someone to take a fucking picture of you looking like that and send it around to friends and even people you hate? no, probably not. Think about what you do next time, fucking pricks.

2010-03-31T00:28:00.000-07:00

Life sucks.
Hardcore.

But at the same time, I love it.

Maybe its time for another

2010-03-29T01:24:00.000-07:00

I always forget about this blog thingy of mine, and its so much more convenient to type then to write, so why dont i blog more often?

Anyways, almost moved into the new house fully YAY!
I'm so close to almost being married, YAY! again.

Well i used to say i have no life but i do, really.
used to think that i didnt keep in touch with people but i try, a lot. But most are to much drama now a days and act to childish for me. I am an old lady now. :p and most dont even answer texts anymore, super lame.

bah my feet are cold im gonna head to bed.

sheepish

2010-03-16T00:10:00.000-07:00

Finals week, can't wait for college to be over.. Hurry up Thursday! Going to Portland Friday night and staying there til Monday then going to Lincoln City until that Friday! Should be exciting times. Moved out og my townhouse. Me and Dan bought a 4 bedroom house on Barry St, really nice just needs some paint. Got really thrashed this weekend and threw my body weight in booze and vomit all over my bathroom, good times. Can't wait to get a job, yes one of those oddly rare things. Been going to the gym, but havnt this week due to moving and all those shinanigans. I am writing this over my phone so there is probably a TON of grammar errors, sorry :/ lol

Only a few will ever understand me, if even that many.

2010-03-11T01:44:00.000-08:00

Wren Mikita says:
I think i fell in with the "Cool" crowd at ITT for some ungodly reason

Kayleen says:
I fall into the "oh you play video games?" crowd.
its lame.

Wren Mikita says:
that's the cool crowd at ITT
though... honestly i hear lots of bad things about people not getting hired because they went to ITT instead of an accredited college

Kayleen says:
but i did find out that im not the only that when i die i want to wake up with a pokeball in my hand

Karas. says:
LOL

Wren Mikita says:
oh gods

Kayleen says:
what!?

Karas. says:
You 'tard.
<3

Kayleen says:
You mean you guys don't want that to happen to you?

Wren Mikita says:
I want to wake up, surrounded by friends that lack agendas at some non-descript coffee shop, dice and character sheet in hand, if not rulebook and plan in mind... and ready to spend an eternity dreaming up new things to do

Kayleen says:
aka wake up with a pokeball in your hand
I played Harry Potter Scene It for 4 hours..

Wren Mikita says:
yeah but... that limits you to one universe...

Kayleen says:
ANY UNIVERSE THAT HAS REAL LIFE POKEMON IS THE ULTIMATE UNIVERSE.

Wren Mikita says:
i want to be able to say "Poof, we're in ultra realistic, but ultra-fake medieval times, with magic and dragons... or in the year 20XX and with a comm-scanner on your face... or... anything
hehe

Al Bhed

2010-02-21T22:52:00.000-08:00

Rammu, E's cina dryd sa fnedehk y pmuk eh y tevvanahd myhkiyka ec bnupypmo netelimuic yht suna dryh megamo tuha fnuhk eh cusa fyo.

Famm.. rana ec kuac.

E tuh'd ghuf fryd du cyo.. naymmo. Syopa drec ec zicd so dneym uha du caa ev baubma femm yldiymmo dno du talebran drec.

So fucking hungry

2010-02-18T00:38:00.000-08:00

^.^ So instead of getting food i am gonna write this blog and do nothing about it.

ahm nahm nahm

2010-02-02T02:58:00.000-08:00

new plans new plans!
Been doing the whole college scene, not too bad.. eh.
i know enthusiastic right? welllsssssssssikinsss anyways!
been losing weight! im excited! woot cant wait to get more motivated.

Even though i started college i think i am gonna be finishing my term in the middle of march and i may not be going back, not saying its bad in all but i was thinking.. Military!

yes mo'fuckin' Military! effin awesome right? lol everyone is doing it. And since i have already filed an stuff when i was 17 all they need is my signature and i go to meps :DDD
like.. its so much easier for me to do it and its odd.. cause like 4 of my friends that are in their 20's are taking forever to get in with the whole process in shiz.. i didn't think having just a GED would make it that much harder, you dont need to be smert to be in the military and these guy are wayyy soooper smart, GED's and Diplomas mean NOTHING!

*HEAD DESK*

Anyways its 3am i am on sleepy meds and for some reason soooooperdooooper hyper but like not at the same time. I am not going to correct any grammar for this post. Nope. Not doing it.
YAY TYPOS!

Finished my first freehand painting today :D well except there's like 1 more shadow i need to add, but i am pretty happy with myself :DD

totally listening to Taylor Swift right now!

oh and its almost V-Day.. not really expecting much :/ i dont think Dan is much of the V-Day person.. lol i cant remember any of our V-days and this is number 4!
wow, i horrible. I dont think we do much but he is following with his new years resolution and its been fucking awesome!
I wuvs you Dan! ♥♥

right riiight righty right!
Getting married much sooner than expected and we aren't having an actual wedding, just going to a court house methinks. And then having a pretty awesome like reception so peoples don't get butt hurt cause "I didn't have a real wedding" IF I LIKE IT THEN ITS REAL! eff all who disagrees, my day Dans day not everyone elses day :DD

found a missing item the other day and cant wait to return it, wewt.

totally rocking out to country today *looks around* hopefully Dan doesn't notice.

yay Triscuits!

G'ni! (^.^)v

Short

2010-01-10T04:13:00.000-08:00

It's like i want to type so much, so many thoughts, ideas, saying, anything! but my body is like "Blabbber blehhh" so much is happening in this brain its crazy.

I started college, i love getting out of the house, and sadly i love being away from Dan for awhile.. how bad would it sound that i kinda like the fact that he seems kinda happy when i get home as if he missed me? I wish we showed love to each other more.

I don't think i'm needy.. i just miss the whole acting like a couple thing.. i mean we act as if we have been married for 5years and just don't care anymore. I love him more than anything but DAMN do i want to stab that boy from time to time :)

You.

2010-01-10T00:45:00.000-08:00

Stop fucking with me please, i dont know if this is going to work. Help me understand. Please.

Dear mind

2010-01-10T00:44:00.000-08:00

I'm sorry that everything is all jumbled up and crazy in there. I promise to make it better soon.

Paparazzi (im fucking lame)

2009-10-27T04:10:00.000-07:00

We are the crowd, we're c-coming out
Got my flash on it's true, need that picture of you
It's so magical,
We'd be so fantastical

Leather and jeans, garage glamorous,
Not sure what it means, but this photo of us
It don't have a price, ready for those flashing lights,
'Cause you know that baby I

I'm your biggest fan I'll follow you until you love me,
Papa-paparazzi,
Baby there's no other superstar you know that i'll be your
Papa-paparazzi
Promise i'll be kind, but i won't stop until that boy is mine,
Baby you'll be famous chase you down until you love me,
Papa-paparazzi

I'll be your girl, backstage at your show,
Velvet ropes and guitars, yeah 'cause you're my rockstar,
In between the sets, eyeliner and cigarettes,

Shadow is burnt, yellow dance and we turn,
My lashes are dry, purple teardrops I cry,
It don't have a price, loving you is cherry pie
'Cause you know that baby I

Real good, we dance in the studio,
Snap, snap to that xxxx on the radio
Don't stop, for anyone,
We're plastic but we still have fun!

Ready set GO

2009-10-27T03:57:00.000-07:00

I'm fucking lame and have not blogged in awhile.. i used to be soo dedicated what happened?

So i suppose this is where i write about what new has happened and if anything "omfg it needs to be blogged" has happened.. well obviously not since i haven't blog in days.. months.

Been playing Second Life (now will be referred as SL) a lot.. i mean A LOT -shoots self- someone please tell me why this game is so much more addicting than WoW seriously FML.. not like i dont do anything i do get out and actually been hanging out with my friends a lot lately woot! i suppose.

Things have not been going to well.. thats for sure lets see.. i could list them all

-Kayleen's List of why life sucks right now-

STILL no job, even after applying everyday
Will soon have to sell my car if i dont get a job
Not buying a house (also kinda caused by me cause i dont have a job)
People are annoying in general
Paige is impossible to potty train
I miss hanging out with my sisters
BOYS why are they naturally ass-holes?
Dan broke my CD player in my car v.v
and.. thats about
But i wanted the list to go to 10 ^_^

It's cold, maybe i should go to bed.. oh i should've also added that my sleep schedule is so fucked up and the fact that i really wanted to go to school but was denied...

Paige

2009-09-28T04:52:00.000-07:00

Me and Dan went to the Humane Society Friday to look at puppies. That place makes me so sad :( so many sick animals. Well anyways, we found a puppy (well a few but we could only have one) and she is a 9 week old Australian Shepherd Labrador Retriever mix. She is the cutest thing ever. Well on Saturday after me and Dan talked about it we decided to fill out adoption papers for her. Well we found out that she isnt available for adoption until the 30th (no big deal only 5 days away) but the lady also said that within those few days she will be getting shots, neutered/spayed, and ID chipped. Since she will be in with the other dogs and that she is a very young pup she is at high risk of Kennel Cough.. which is easy to treat but it takes like a month. Now the bad part is they said we cannot take her home till she is cured of the kennel cough.. so there goes like 7-21 days more we have to wait. But the lady says we may get lucky and she wont get it so i'm hoping for no kennel cough.

This isn't a picture of Paige (thats what we decided to name her) but this is about 98% of what she looks like just a little smaller.

har har

2009-09-17T12:41:00.000-07:00

There's a time when some people can't take drama anymore. They want the shit talking to stop. (This isn't necessarily about me) I don't understand the humans need to be center on attention. either they're setting rumors, talking shit, starting fights, or just being very loud and obnoxious when around crowds.Some people don't know when to stop! This person could of hit rock bottom for something that has happened and people will still laugh, point and start even worse rumors than the ones that were going on. Most people make me sick. Number one reason I shut myself away from people I don't like (also why I always avoid you when you want to hang out) is because I know your kind. You have the need to start drama when there is none. The need to hurt someones feelings and stab that person in the back and then pretend to be their shoulder to cry on. Wow people have stooped so low, I am tired of having to witness all of this bullshit.

Annoy me more pls (List rant)

2009-09-17T03:46:00.000-07:00

Dan being gone, or just not taking me with him. JERK!
People that seriously cant do anything for fun, like play a video games cause if they die a lot by the person who they're playing with, then randomly decide "i don't wanna play anymore" wow you guys are lame. Same with people who take everything really competitive like bowling or something, just a game have fun. Like seriously STFU QQ somewhere else. Kthnxs.
Everyone is moving away. Okay cool that probably means you hate Kfalls or you dont like the people. You know that you are leaving your friends so dont really expect them to drive like the 4-6 hours to you once a month. I mean EVERYONE is doing this. YOU moved away that means YOU get to make new friends and basically have a online/phone relationship with your old friends. And i am not talking about certain people (you know who you are you're only like 2 hrs away) but the point is we didnt leave our friends, you left us i think you are obligated to visit us not vice versa. I mean did you really expect to stay close to everyone you moved away from?
Constant worrying.
People not being able to take a joke, people who take things way to seriously, people who cannot have fun just sitting around and talking, people who find waking up at 7pm alright, people who dont watch their children, people who pawn off their children on people like me, people who wont talk about things that are bothering them all they do is make everyone miserable around them. Most people in general. This is probably why i have so few friends.
All my sisters online boyfriends, YOU GUYS ARE FUCKING SICK. Perverts. I do not condone this.. sister of mine.
Me playing WoW. i get random spikes where i can play everyday of the week 6 hours or more a day. Seriously fuck my life when that happens. Then there are times when i dont want to touch a computer.
Fucking Oregon and having one of the highest percentages of unemployment in the fucking united states, give me a job already. Maybe those 10 apps i turned in will get me a phone call this week CHEERS! to hope.
I hate it when people drink out of 2liters and finish one off by themselves. GROSS. So much sugar.. poor teeth.
My new cat, she lets out these loud noises that sounds like you stuck her tail in the garbage disposal at random times. She freaks out when Pawl gets near her. She hisses when he looks at her. Attacks him when he gets by her cat carrier. Anyone want a free kitteh? she is fixed. I recommend no other animals.
I feel like and endless hole of hungry.
Not being able to find the toothpaste or even worse my tooth brush.
Nothing for 13, what now?!
Not having an open mind about music. And telling me to change my music. I listen anything from Opera to Death Metal.
Babies
Cats shedding
Being poor.
People thinking that i have the best life ever. And the fact people think i have tons of money because my Fiancee makes money. It is HIS money i am not a crazy gold digger. He makes it i don't, so that means i am still poor i do not want all his monies
One last thing.. The fact that the picture of this cat is not a real picture. It is a photoshopped painting of a cat i was tricked.. God give me this gift. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iZ4H5Rw6wTg

Ello there.

2009-09-10T00:34:00.003-07:00

Been wasting my life on WoW and thats my damn excuse to why i never blog anymore.

And things haven't been so great so why blog about it? oh yea i use this as a release to bitch without being criticized. I'm in a horrible mood right now D:<

Get me a job then we'll talk.

Getting married?

2009-09-05T02:05:00.000-07:00

So apparently i am getting married, didnt expect that to happen at all.
Been back from Boise for a week but i didn't have time and wasn't in the mood to blog.

So people have been asking "How did he propose?" and i am tired of saying it over and over so now if anyone wants to know they can come to my blog and read for once.

He didn't do the whole fancy restaurant thing or anything somatic actually. There wasn't the whole down on one knee type business either. Okay, so we just got done hanging out With Reida and Tyler and we were driving home from dropping them off. He asked me to reach into the glove box for something and i thought CD of course, and BLAM box with ring and he asked me to marry him. And i said yes. The End. Seriously nothing too awesome to other people but amazing to me.

I have so much to blog about

2009-08-25T14:57:00.000-07:00

But I have no time to at the moment. I am in Boise Idaho and when I get back ill blog about my adventures but until now this will have to suffice.

Remember when we made those online love notes?

2009-08-19T02:24:00.000-07:00

Even though we live in the same town and house, we always wrote eachother love notes and random e-mails, im glad we are like that. I have written you 3 love notes, i hope you get them in the mail..

Through avarice, evil smiles; through insanity, it sings.

2009-08-19T02:21:00.000-07:00

Avarice (from Latin avarus, "greedy"; "to crave") is the inordinate love for riches. Its special malice, broadly speaking, lies in that it makes the getting and keeping of money, possessions, and the like, a purpose in itself to live for. It does not see that these things are valuable only as instruments for the conduct of a rational and harmonious life, due regard being paid of course to the special social condition in which one is placed. It is called a capitalvice because it has as its object that for the gaining or holding of which many other sins are committed. It is more to be dreaded in that it often cloaks itself as a virtue, or insinuates itself under the pretext of making a decent provision for the future. In so far as avarice is an incentive to injustice in acquiring and retaining of wealth, it is frequently a grievous sin. In itself, however, and in so far as it implies simply an excessive desire of, or pleasure in, riches, it is commonly not a mortal sin.

The Crystal Gazer

2009-08-19T02:19:00.000-07:00

I shall gather myself into my self again,
I shall take my scattered selves and make them one.
I shall fuse them into a polished crystal ball
Where I can see the moon and the flashing sun.
I Shall sit like a sibyl, hour after hour intent.
Watching the future come and the present go -
And the little shifting pictures of people rushing
In tiny self-importance to and fro.

- Sara Teasdale

Blood, Twilight, and Pawl

2009-08-19T01:52:00.000-07:00

Been getting damn Bloody noses a lot lately, ew. But its random, always from the left nostril. I've ruined two pillows so far, i dont even get warning. First time i woke up and my pillow was drenched, i was sooo mad cause that night i decided i was to lazy and tired to use a pillow case.. so now the pillow itself is a lame orange dark red color from me trying to clean it up. Then again i woke up with another pillow covered in blood. Then like 20 mins ago i was watching a movie and i was laying down and WOOSH raining blood again. uuuurgh.
I am a fan nerd for the Twilight Saga, like every other insane female. I just saw the New Moon trailer today and i was actually kinda pleased by it. Excited you may say. Hopefully it isn't a fucking failure like the first one. Absolutely HATE the first movie. Robert Pattinson should quit playing Edward and go back to Harry Potter because he was so much hotter as Cedric Diggory.

I don't think Pawl is sickly anymore :D i couldn't stand seeing him all gaggy and pukey looking, i love my kitty. And thats all i have to say about Pawl.

<3

2009-08-19T01:43:00.000-07:00

Something came in the mail for me for once and NOT Dan. :)
It was from him.. but thats not the point. But it put the biggest smile on my face.

So obviously Dan has been reading my blogs because i posted one about Etsy.com and how i loved there jewelry. Well he got my this necklace which says "Je T'aime Plus Qu'hier Moins Que Demain" which is french for "I love you more than yesterday, Less than tomorrow"

I LOVE YOU DANIEL JOSEPH MATLICK AND I CANT WAIT TILL FRIDAY <3

It's kinda the best pick me up i could of gotten, things have went down hill lately. I got fired. ugh.
so now i'm gonna try and apply anywhere i can think of. shit shit shit.

The World.

2009-08-17T03:07:00.000-07:00

Uninstalled and reinstalled World of Warcraft it has been acting up. I hate myself for playing that wretched game again. But i am not as bad i was before about this game now i play when i want and not just 24/7 the original reason why i quit the game was so i could graduate.. and i did just that. GO ME! So it shouldn't matter what i do with the game now. I really like the fantasy world, i just demand more fantasy! Here is my current background image, how much of a nerdface does that make me?
I wish i could write well. I want to write book, i have started so many times. But i don't have my own fancy style of writing like others have. Mine is just.. average. Spelling errors, punctuations errors you name it i do it. But there was my random blurb that wasnt even related to what this blog was titled.

This is from an old Blog

2009-08-17T03:04:00.000-07:00

The Original date to this post is March 20th 2009

I wish i had an interesting life, i really do. i am not saying this because i am bored at the moment... to tell the truth i am feeling nothing. i am not upset or annoyed so i dunno why i feel the way i do right now. i feel like i am at complete standstill and absolutely nothing is happening, but at the moment a lot is happening.

I wish i can control every single aspect of my life.
I wish that everything went as planned.
I wish for life to be more spontaneous in a good way.

But for now the only thing i ever want to do is sit at home and watch random videos that fit with my mood. My body doesn't want to do anything, and when i get the spark to do something.. it never happens.
But to tell the truth i love sitting at home, laying in bed from time to time just relaxing, savoring a quiet moment and just talking about the past and the future... but i have no one that wants to just lay there and do so.. even though i have the right person to do that with.

I am very much so in love.
I am always confused.
I am always scared.

I am not depressed.
I am not sad.
I am not lonely.

I just feel emotionless at the moment, for once i have friends that i feel i can trust. I have known for years and not once have done anything wrong or hurtful to me, but actually seem like they want me around. I'm glad i came out of my box and sat at their table :)

I think i am to young for my current want. Sometimes i think my mother shouldn't of let me move out. But i love every minute of being away from my mother and being able to be independent. My mother is not a bad mother, but she also isn't the greatest but she raised me to what i am and i am grateful.

Currently my body over heats quickly and i feel as if i should just walk around naked at all times.
I have noticed my eye site is getting worse, i don't recognize people from across the room i have to go by voice.

Brittany, Thank you for being there for me.
you seem like the only person that i can fully trust with everything. you and me are so much alike its scary, and i know we are trapped in our own boxes and trust so few, We have maybe 3 people we talk about everything with and that consists on our significant other and our mothers. And every time we talk about something that might be bothering me you say something like "their loss" and for some reason it makes me feel special don't ask why i dont even know ^.^

It's late almost 4am

Goodnight.

She Wolf

2009-08-17T02:20:00.000-07:00

I don't listen to much Shakira.. well none at all. But i was watching top 20 countdown on MTV at 4am and this video was in the top ten. I really enjoyed it :) i'm a such a homo. Well i cant get embedded in this blog for some gay reason so here is the link. I advise you watch.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4aEW_Z5Va5s

Doing this whole phone blogging

2009-08-16T03:21:00.000-07:00

I'm to lazy to go to the computer and turn it on.. So I decided I'll write a blog from the comfort of my own bed. Not to bad except my thumbs are starting to get tired quickly, thank god for full keyboard phones and what-not.
Gave my fur child Pawl a bath today, he was shedding way to much for my liking. Took my niece Emily(Emmy) to the park today.. She never gets out of the house, she is 1 and she already knows that staying in the house all day is lame. Planning a trip to the lake sometime this week, I'm gonna take Emmy with me.
I cannot wait for Friday.. I am super stoked to see my Dan again, and among other things :D I feel like a little kid the week before they go to Disneyland, I just can't wait! Seeing Dan, Sexy time, leaving state, no work, and new people.. just sounds stupendous right about now, and its going to be an awesome week! :D
I like to sleep with the fan on, it gets pretty cold at night but the covers are doing 90% of their job, just would be better if Dan was here. I would turn my fan off but it gets way to hot come 9am so its so worth the shivering at night. I don't want to stop blogging.. But I am running out of things to say. Maybe its just me stalling so I don't have to force myself into slumber, ah man I can never get to sleep.
As of late I have been getting random headaches at least once a day and they last for at least an hour. I don't have a clue at what could be causing this but its starting to get annoying. What bugs me is that it will start when I'm at a store or driving.. It makes it hard to drive. I'm not sure if you would catigorize it under migrane cause its not like 'lay under the covers and dissapear for a few hours' kind of thing. Well shit I'm outtah ideas for bloggingness LAME. After awhile these blogs start to sound like my old Journal entrys from Junior High, I'm so lame.

Away

2009-08-15T00:55:00.000-07:00

I want to go on a road trip, a long one just for the hell of it. I am going to Boise for a week.. but that isn't far enough. I want to go with the one i love and just go away for a month or two. Out of the Country would be super even if its just a step over the countries border.. i would still be very happy. Well heck i would probably be just f ine with a trip out of Oregon and out of reach of everyone i know.

Dunno.

2009-08-15T00:31:00.000-07:00

Sex sounds good right about now o.o too bad i have to wait till the 21st . I feel like writing a blog just because of the simple fact that i can. There isn't really much to write about, but i will find something to write about. Everyone i know is either having a baby or has had one recently and i think its pretty cool, just proves that finally i am in the stage where it is okay to get married and live a happy life as a mother and a wife. Some of my family members nag me about when i will have children.. i am only 18 but they still think i should have one within the next 3 years, thats how my family is, they have children young. But i don't want to be like them, i want to have a child with someone i know i will love forever and he will equally love me the same.. for me and my children. Some of them have had children with the one they love, and others have not. I don't want to have a child with someone then a few years later be with someone else, just doesn't seem right in my eyes. I didn't really cherish childhood as much as i should of, it seems like those days have been long gone but it has only been a few years. I matured quicker than i wanted i moved out before 18 and when i was 15 i was in relationships that lasted years and not weeks. I don't regret much from my past, i am where i am now and i am very happy, nothing more i could ask for. Except maybe a very well paying job, but who doesn't want that?

I kinda wish I was a wizard/witch like in Harry Potter, life would be so interesting and neat. I know i would never grow bored of the many things i could learn. And I'd be able to where a cape and not be considered a super hero. Hogwarts would be amazing, i have always fancied school that require uniforms.. thats how it was in Arkansas when i lived there, it made life easier and no one was judged so much. Well.. except when i got there they categorized me as a goth kid (emo wasn't really used back then) only because i wore more eyeliner than the other girls. There were rumors i sacrificed small animals to the devil or something lame like that.

Tattoos

2009-08-14T02:42:00.000-07:00

So I am really wanting to finish my half sleeve, I just need to find out what i want to do.. i so confused andnot sure what to do. I have takin random snippets from Audrey Kawasaki's paintings i juts dont know what i should do.
I found this painting and i really love it.. i just dont know how to incorporate it with my other tattoo. I just really want to work on this one arm and finish it before i do anything else. I have more ideas and they're posted on my myspace (http://viewmorepics.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewPicture&friendID=31348120&albumId=2779959) Sorry for the long ass link -_-

Once again

2009-08-14T02:23:00.000-07:00

I still miss Sir Dan Matlick, these three weeks are taking ages to go by.. ugh. I sound pathetic, i do really. He just needs to come home, i want my Dan! >:o
I'm not used to the whole sleep walking thing.. its happening again but this time i don't have Dan to make me come back to bed and stop me from being way confused. pooey.

2009-08-13T15:28:00.000-07:00

I would post more but

2009-08-11T13:23:00.000-07:00

I don't like to write blogs when other people are around.

Jetta

2009-08-07T01:39:00.000-07:00

So tomorrow.. well actually today I am going to take my drivers test for my license and i am not nervous at all i am actually kinda anxious because i get to drive my car without having to find a family member or a friend 21 or older with a license to drive. Life is going to be 10 gazillion times easier.

EEEEEEEEK i'm excited :)

Bud Lite with Lime

2009-08-07T01:14:00.000-07:00

Is not very good in the can. The can reminds me of 7up. I couldn't find a picture of a can itself but imagine this logo on a 7up can and there you have it!

I cant find anything to listen to.. which is kinda odd i have like 50GB of music on my computer of pretty much ever Genre you can think of but i cant find anything, i hate this. I think i'm just gonna listen to Dane cook and his somewhat funny jokes.

So i watched 3 movies today with my Boyfriend the Orange couch which i have named Remmy. And those movies where White Oleander which was a wonderful movie and then i watched Pans Labyrinth and was disappointed when i found out it was in Spanish but decided to watch anyways, a few tears happened during that one and oddly i covered my eyes a few times cause of the beating and torturing in it. And then i watched a comedy which was my favorite of the night it was called I Could Never Be Your Woman. This movie follows a mother who falls for a younger man while her daughter falls in love for the first time. Mother Nature messes with their fates. And it was amazing i want to marry Paul Rudd in this movie I caught myself laughing hysterically a few times. Well anyways this isnt a movie critics blog so im done with this.

But isnt Paul Rudd HOT?

Speaking of hot men i think i am going to go watch Coyote Ugly. Adam Garcia has the best accent in that movie mmmmm :)

Copy&Print

2009-08-07T00:45:00.000-07:00

I miss Dan =(
And why the fuck isn't my change font tab here... ugh now im not in the mood to blog. -_-"
I dont like the whole being at home alone.. well i have Pawl but.. but.. he cant protect me from big bad munsterrs :) well.. he could open his kitteh mouth and make them run away with bad breath HAHA Here he is isn't he such a cutie lounging on my broken futon ^_^
I am getting another kitteh this weekend or next week possibly, her current name is Disney she is Black and White. She is absolutely adorable but i dunno about the name. It is a cute name but i mean come on i have a cat named Pawl i just don't think Disney is a great name for this household. But you never know i like the name in an odd way, but Dan absolutley hates it. Figure that.

So i decided that i have a new Boyfriend i am gonna dump Dan for my 1970's Orange/Terracotta couch that has became my best lover since he has left state. I mean we dont argue we get along we watch the same shows eat the same things and he doesn't steal the blankets and pillows when we lay together. Also i think Pawl likes him. :)
This is the closest picture i could find to what my couch looks like except it looks more carrot color and it has more sectionals to it.

I'm addicted to Etsy

2009-08-05T14:58:00.000-07:00

I recently found out about Etsy.com and i have fallin in love with it.
So much hand-made jewelry and clothing and pretty much anything else you can think of.
I have already made myself a giant wish list of all these beautiful things.

2009-08-04T23:36:00.000-07:00

odd individual

2009-08-04T22:51:00.000-07:00

I absolutely hate being touched by wet hands.
I am not very good at remember song names or artists and even albums for that matter.
I hate it when people aren't open minded to movies, shows and music.
I do not like children that cry over everything! i mean they cry if a dog looks at them or they cry because of the Micheal Jackson Thriller video (my cousin does this)
Usually when i drink pepsi or any high carbonated drink from a straw i get hiccups that last forever!
I usually feel weird eating when other people are not eating.
I try to be as open minded as possible.
I get jealous over trivial things.
I take out random anger spurs on my significant others :)
I have very long complicated relationships.
I am not very confident.
I like Boho style clothing i just don't have the guts to wear it.

More of this will probably happen i just need to type.

Bucket List #1 unfinished

2009-08-04T22:28:00.000-07:00

After watching the amazing movie the Bucket list i kinda felt like i needed to write up a list of things i want to accomplish in life. Here is my list of things i want to achieve before i die.

My Bucket List

Witness something truly majestic.
Travel Alone.
Fall devastatingly, helplessly, head-over-heels in love.
Spend a day at a spa.
Have children with the love of my life.
See as many foreign countries as possible.
Take my chances at every opportunity that comes my way.
Get back in touch.

August

2009-08-02T23:22:00.000-07:00

Sucks thus far;
Dan left for Boise.
My 'e' and 'r' keys on my BB don't work very well.
I've had an endless headache.
certain people are hitting it off, they shouldn't be.

But August is looking up;
Get my Jetta
I do get to go to a concert
I do get to go to Boise for a few days

Bed

2009-08-01T02:01:00.000-07:00

I shouldn't let such small things get to me. Well not so small to me but I suppose its small to you.

Romeo x Juliet

2009-07-29T15:08:00.000-07:00

My favorite kiss scene out of ALL the animes i watch.

Boise Idaho

2009-07-29T05:46:00.000-07:00

Screw you! :(
I don't want Dan to go to Boise and leave me all alone... :( grawr
well at least i'll have Pawl around to keep me some sort of company.
Getting a new kitten soon, dunno what im going to name her yet but she comes fixed pretty sweet deal if i say so myself.

I have not went to bed yet... its almost 6am fml fml FML

I tried something old

2009-07-29T02:23:00.001-07:00

and posted a blog on myspace, well its not new and only a certain someone can read it. its a really old thing we used to do.

I highly doubt it would ever get read.. but it would be nice if he did..

i need to stop dwelling on the past.
Upsets me more than it should.

I need to try harder

2009-07-29T02:16:00.000-07:00

Stop giving up so easy.... why do i fucking do this.. Things need to happen and quickly

I HATE PROCRASTINATION

/sigh

2009-07-29T02:14:00.000-07:00

I need to watch Dexter.. or stab a kitten

i hate this feeling.

eee gads

2009-07-15T11:48:00.000-07:00

I'm just not a happy person anymore...

doodly dee

2009-07-09T23:43:00.000-07:00

I am never on anymore, which sucks.
been kinda busy for once. Working with mom is tiring and so not worth it but i need to make money some how.

Almost got a car the other day but got shot down, not because i cant pay for the car but because i cant pay for the damn insurance, that Jetta could of been mine :(

oh well, i spent some money that i saved on new pants and shoes that were MUCH needed.

for some odd reason my legs are killing me and its not a tired thing its a achy arthritis thing uh-oh.

Stitches

2009-07-06T02:55:00.000-07:00

Tattoo is almost fully healed, thank god.
I have not posted in awhile but mostly because i have been very busy with the new place and the whole trying to find a full-time job.
i am working with my mother cleaning houses for ten bucks an hour but there isnt enough hours worth shit, i only make roughly 300 a month.

I need a car, badly. There is one i want and it would cost 200 a month and i really really want it but Dan is being a giant ween about it, ugh.
What am i suppose to do when he goes to Boise? sit here and rot in the townhouse out in the middle of nowhere? well not really in the middle of nowhere, its in north hills a very good neighborhood.

Not going to lie, i am going to miss you; be scared at night all by myself for 2 months.
:(

I want to type a long blog, but i cant type well on the damn laptop. I hate laptops.

random shit going through my head and it makes me go nuts, absolutely nuts.
All of my friends are getting married or engaged already, they've all been with there significant other less than a year and here i am 2 years and probably no where close to marriage. Maybe i suck, or may they're going to fast. i choose the latter.
But oddly i feel kinda depressed over the whole situation.
I don't want to be my mother.

I kinda like having money but i also hate it.
it gets spent as fast as it gets in my hand.

i'm off to watch Royal Pains. Peace.

All i ever wanted

2009-07-06T02:52:00.000-07:00

All I ever wanted was to see you smilin
I know that I love you o baby why don't you see

All I ever wanted was to see you smilin
All I ever wanted was to make you mine
I know that I love you o baby why don't you see
That all I ever wanted was you and me

All I ever wanted was to see you smilin
All I ever wanted was to make you mine
I know that I love you o baby why don't you see
That all I ever wanted was you and me

(Drum and Base)
(Instrumental)

I'm so alone here on my own
And I'm waiting for you to come
I want to be a part of you
Think of all the things we could do
And everyday your in my head
I want to have you in my bed
You are the one, Your in my eyes
All I ever wanted in my life

All I ever wanted was to see you smilin
All I ever wanted was to make you mine
I know that I love you o baby why don't you see
That all I ever wanted was you and me

All I ever wanted was to see you smilin
All I ever wanted was to make you mine
I know that I love you o baby why don't you see
That all I ever wanted was you and me

(Are you ready)

All I ever wanted was to see you smilin
All I ever wanted was to make you mine
I no that I love you o baby why don't you see
That all I ever wanted was you and me

All I ever wanted...

My new Audrey

2009-06-30T00:54:00.000-07:00

I got my tattoo the other day omg it turned out so amazing! it takes up about a quarter of my upper arm and it took 5 hours to do Johnny Smith @ Black Water is an amazing artist and i plan on getting a few more Audrey Kawasaki paintings on my arm to create a half sleeve.

blah blah blah

2009-06-30T00:46:00.000-07:00

I'm tired.
I'm tired of arguing.
I'm tired of thinking.
I'm tired of sleeping.
I'm tired of talking.
I'm tired of not being aloud to drive.
I'm tired of being like 587498735 pounds heavier than i have ever been in my whole life.
I'm tired of not having my own car.
I'm tired of not having a reliable job, so i could get a car.
I'm tired of myself.
I'm just tired.

Sometimes i feel very alone and as if i am the only one that wants to do this.
what 'this' is? i dont know but i feel alone..

i am tired of arguing and pressing buttons and us not knowing how to stop and just fueling the fire that keeps getting bigger and bigger.

i hate that we apologize to eachother for our mistakes then we do the mistakes all over again the next day. And cause more stress on eachother and our feelings.

Flow sweetly, hang heavy, you suddenly complete me

2009-06-22T00:20:00.000-07:00

I want to live out of America
like Australia, Paris, London, Ireland, or even Iceland.
Somewhere where I can be different.
and no one would notice.. because they're all different

Stuff i want =D

2009-06-16T00:35:00.001-07:00

Rumplo.com T-shirts are amazing.

The sound of fans.

2009-06-14T03:59:00.000-07:00

As i sit here rubbing my eyes because its 4am, way to late and way to early for the birds to start singing, i realize that life has changed. Things are different, things are happier, softer, lighter and more touching than they have ever been before. I think this feeling is happiness.
My desk is an awful mess of magazines, tea cups, CD's and oddly enough nail polish. All i hear is fans and the sound of Three's Company playing in the background. I have two very different boys passed out in the living room, the older is my ex and came over to hang out and play some video games. The other i live with and is the current love of my life, who sadly is passed out on the futon after a night of booze and cigars at his friends bachelor party.
I am not doing anything fancy, i'm just sitting in a chair watching the posters and random magazine clippings flutter on and off the wall from the fan in this way to hot way to small room. Not much variety on the walls here, mostly band pictures from photo shoots, see my Boyfriend is really into the heavy metal scene so the house is filled with band merchandise and guitars.
I go in for my second tattoo in two weeks, i am super stoked and cant wait. But at the same time.. i want that time to come by very slowly, i am not going to lie i am nervous; i am getting it on my chest not drastic like some girls and men. I am getting some flowers, skulls and vines and it is very well worth the 3 hours of pain the the 240 dollars i am spending, i feel bad though i shouldn't be so selfish and spend the money on myself.

(to be cont..)

It's way too hot in this little room.

2009-06-11T02:00:00.000-07:00

Graduation was cool, i had fun. It was really windy and i had to hold my cap on but other than that it was a once in a lifetime experience. It did annoy me that some people are like "you ignored me when i yelled your name" For one; there was hundreds of people there as if i would hear your voice through the crowd of cheering people. So stfu and grow up, it was a very important day to me please don't ruin it. Sure you may think "graduation is no big deal" but i do. i did something not everyone can accomplish, and i have a right to be proud of myself.. i have never been before.

Today i dyed my kitty Pawl purple, yes his name is Pawl and he is effing amazing. He can be a giant douche at times, for example: Knocking over my brand new paint or splashing water all over my paintings and he has really bad breath but i love him no matter what.

Been hanging out with Chris and Brittany a lot, i'm glad i have a chick friend to hang out with now. And Chris is fun to have conversations with, people need to understand that me and him have not been together for 2 years and that friendships can happen and it really annoys me that people think otherwise. Not my fault i get along with men better than women.

Been playing with fimo all day, that shit is amazing. I feel like a child.

Laying in my bed

2009-06-10T03:17:00.000-07:00

So here I am using my Blackberry to post a blog, how lame am I? xD. anyways.. Gotten very little sleep these past few days, been hanging with family and old friends. I learned how to do twist braids on hemp string, its a neat trick. Got some cash for graduation, which went amazing if I may say so.. But I will talk about that in another blog where it isn't on my phone. Currently I am laying in bed and Dan is next to me, I love him <3 soo much he doesn't even realise I mean sure he gets jealous over stupid little things but I hope he knows he has absolutely nothing at all to worry about, so when or if he ever reads this he will get a clue. Lol. Anyways myh eyes are about to crash on me and I think it would be nice if I actually got to post this before I start dreaming away. PEACE.

People like things differently

2009-06-06T03:04:00.000-07:00

This purple lilly is what i have on my left shoulder blade, I got it for my first tattoo and i absolutely love it. I would have a picture of it on me but i dont have a very good photo of it, but ill post one up soonish

This pink flower is my idea for my right arm, i am going to have multiple flowers but this is going to be the center piece of the whole thing. I want a half sleeve of all flowers on my right arm. I am planning to have some Forget-Me-Nots for the flowers around it.

These three are paintings by Audrey Kawasaki, she is an amazing artist. Eventually i will have all 3 of these as a tattoos. i love the way this artist paints.. its so different from everyone else i love the uniqueness. If the military does not come through here is the sleeve for my left arm ^-^

You smell weird..

2009-06-06T02:55:00.000-07:00

I dont like being accused of doing drugs, i dont do them so dont ask me.
I mean come on if i wanted to i could. But at least accuse me when you are 100% sure that it's true, at least then i got to have some enjoyment of the drug before you freak out on me for it. And after i am accused and YOU are proven wrong, i accept all kinds of apologies for your pigheadedness.

Also Dan says i woke up again in the middle of the night, i supposedly jumped out of the bed and yelled, and said there is something on the bed and Dan got me to come back to bed after convincing me there was nothing there, goddamn i suck ass. This is getting ridiculous.

Reunion

2009-06-05T10:02:00.000-07:00

I havent hung out with all of my sisters together in a very long time, i dont get along with them much anymore.
they all came to the carnival with their boyfriends so far i don't hate any of the BF's so thats a good sign. It actually worked out good, i was trying to get money for the Carnival $22 for a damn wrist band, and then my mommy calls and says "I'll pay you and Jenna's way if you take her to the carnival for a couple hours" heck yes! haha i'm such a little kid, I LOVE IT.

Anyways Crystal and Chris came, a verrrrry old reunion i have not hung out with them 2 together in a VERY long time. I had tons of fun. =)
I got sick =( my tummy was still all urcky from the day before but i lived, we got home around 10:30 and i passed out at 11:45 real quick.

We had grad practice yesterday, it was raining and we still had it out in the feild. It wasnt too horrible just cold. Then we went to the BBQ at the Wendts Mansion and that was okay but we went home after about an hour.

YESTERDAY was fun, lets have more fun? eh?

Being sick FTL

2009-06-03T14:22:00.000-07:00

Wake up sick... ugh lame sauce.
And i cant find my glasses, bah bad day.

Night terrors

2009-06-02T23:40:00.000-07:00

When i was a child i used to have real bad night terrors. I used to get up in my sleep and run around and scream, punch, and slap whatever was around me. I would even get up and walk out the door. Maybe i was just weird.

My Grandmother brought me to a doctor for these night terrors i was having, all he said was that i should use sleep medication but my grandma refused. So the only thing the doctor said that we could do was make sure not to wake me up during these terrors. He said that it can cause my brain to not notice the difference from reality and my heart would spasm causing a heart attack.. or something like that. Anyways now they aren't too bad, usually i talk in my sleep a lot and you can carry on full conversations with me and i wouldn't even notice i was asleep and that person wouldn't either.

Just recently it has been getting worse. Now i actually stand up and will walk around or dash for the door, which Dan has gotten up and stopped me of course. One of the most recent one was when i got up and started hitting the wall really hard, my cousin was like "Kayleen wtf are you doing?" i remember what i was dreaming about that time and it was one of the dumbest things ever.
OK in my dream there was a spider on the wall, everyone around me was afraid of it and wouldn't go anywhere near it. I was HUGE but for some reason i wasn't afraid at all. So right in my dream when i went to grab it i must of gotten up from my bed and actually tried to grab an "imaginary" spider that was on my wall...

i know i'm crazy.. haha but its not in a psycho crazy rabble babble way, i just don't sleep well.

A night terror, also known as a sleep terror or pavor nocturnus, is a parasomnia disorder characterized by extreme terror and a temporary inability to regain full consciousness. The subject wakes abruptly from slow-wave sleep, with waking usually accompanied by gasping, moaning, or screaming. It is often impossible to fully awaken the person, and after the episode the subject normally settles back to sleep without waking. A night terror can rarely be recalled by the subject. They typically occur during non-rapid eye movement sleep.

Freedom, i think.

2009-06-02T02:18:00.001-07:00

I passed my senior boards.. hooray!

which means i can now graduate and go on with my life.. thats something to celebrate right?
On the 7th is the day i receive my diploma, what do i do afterward? no i don't mean party wise, i know that will happen but i mean the bigger stuff.. life.
Big word, means alot.
Why does such a small word mean so much?

Well, i decided to start a new blog. This one is fresh and will have my life-update as much as possible. How life is as a graduate.

i have went over many possible things i can attempted to do with my life and they all end in the same thing, Military.
I think it would be good for me, all i need to do is get in shape.
off to bed.